Penina left Eilat on Monday night, May 27th, 2002. We were fasting and praying. The stress has been very great for us the past five months that we devoted ourselves to Penina, Zoli and Austi, but especially Penina. Along with ministering to others and the natural events of life, today Ruti isn't feeling well. It's her stomach. We've prayed and will continue to pray but we don't know if it's food or stress or a combination of both.

Penina came here before she left to say, 'Good-bye.' Of course we didn't hesitate to welcome her but even in this there was much stress. Zoli followed her and again it was Penina defending her position that she's right and Zoli confuses her (with saying one moment he loves her and the next, telling her that he needs some space, etc.). Penina doesn't see that she is very much part of the reason for the strife but what can carnality do? It's not that Zoli is innocent but this is also part of living together when not married.

I spoke to her the Tuesday night, calling her at her father and step mother's home. She wants to come back to Eilat, till Saturday night, cause her step-mother hates her and makes life miserable for her. I asked her where she'd stay and she said with Zoli. I couldn't believe that. I asked her why she left in the first place and she caught on that it might not be anything but high stress and confusion for her now too. But she had some friends here that didn't like that she left without saying goodbye and her mother won't be home in Afula till Sunday. Penina is afraid to be alone in any house and so doesn't want to go back to Afula cause her mother and her step-father are going away from Thursday till Sunday. That's why she'd come here till Saturday night (and travel all night to get home to Afula on Sunday, when her mother would be there for her in the evening). So, Penina may yet come back to Eilat for a few days. More chaos. But the Lord is able to calm the raging sea. In Him we trust. She's most likely thinking that she misses Zoli and maybe they can get back together again.

On Thursday, May 30th, 2002, Penina called from Afula and told us that she had taken a pregnancy test and tested positive. The week before she had told Ruti of tenderness in her breasts and today she said that on the bus, she felt something in her belly and involuntarily placed her hand on her belly. She is deathly afraid to tell her mother, as her mother has beaten her almost to death for much less.

On Monday, June 3rd, Penina called and confirmed that she is pregnant having taken a blood test in a clinic. She's wanting to leave the country and go to the States (where a former Israeli boyfriend lives illegally [visa ran out] in Chicago), or go to India (her current step father was planning to go there before the crises between India and Pakistan broke out and was looking to take Penina with him to live with his family there for a month or so). Of course, she would love if Zoli wanted to marry her but knows that they just parted ways and so his marrying her would be only under (baby) pressure. She also spoke of not telling him so that he wouldn't feel that pressure but Ruti and I told her that it wouldn't be right. The baby is just as much his child as it is hers. It would be sin for her not to tell the father of the child about the child. We gave her another option; that we would be willing to help her here in Eilat if she wanted to rent a place here, we would help in any and every way that we could.

In the afternoon, Zoli ate supper here and we discussed the situation. He was suspicious. He wants to make sure that there is a baby by having Penina send him some official clinic paper stating such. He said that other women have used 'being pregnant' on him (when they weren't?), and so he just wants to make sure. Zoli is in the midst of moving to another place and also working on passing an exam on Thursday for a license to drive speed boats here. If he passes, he'll be able to work as he knows a man who will hire him. Now, he's got a lot on his mind.

I told him that whether or not he married Penina, the child was his and the child needed a father as well as a mother, even if the two of them weren't together. I said that he had both a financial responsibility to Penina and the child, and a relational responsibility to his child. I also said that it didn't work out between him and Penina before the child, and having the child won't make their relationship any better. It would only add stress to an already stressful relationship. Zoli agreed as he can't take people shouting at him and Penina is a classic volcano when she's angry. Still within her is the rage from her being abused when she was younger.

At first, Penina was against having an abortion, but now, she told us tonight, some people (the medical staff at the clinic), have said to her that her life would be ruined if she had the child. (Of course her life has been one big disaster without the baby, but in her situation all she can see is what she wants for herself in the future, and the child would restrict her lifestyle.) We told her that abortion is murder. There's a life within her and if left on it's own, in eight months she would give birth to a beautiful baby who would give her much joy. But she's emotionally distraught and not wanting to accept the responsibility of a pregnancy and a child, especially without a husband.

I'm sure Penina also feels very alone and trapped. Ruti told her that the people who suggested to her to have an abortion don't have to live with the guilt of it for the rest of their lives. To them the child is disposable.

Penina was walking the streets all day and hadn't had much sleep the night before and hadn't eaten or drunk anything. I told Ruti, who was speaking to Penina at the time, to say to her that I didn't want Penina to do to her baby by not eating, whether intentionally or unintentionally, what her mother tried to do to her (abort the child in a very hot bath). When Ruti said that, Penina said, 'I don't want to hear that! Nobody cares about me! I have to make all the decisions myself!'

I got on the phone with Penina and said, 'You know Penina, when you were here on our couch we'd talk about God and sin and your sleeping with Zoli and how it was wrong. And you began to move away from that, wanting to please God and not sin against Him. Isn't that right?' She said, 'Yes.'

'Abortion is a very heinous sin in God's Eyes. Now, you are dealing with a matter of life and death. The life and death of a child, your child, Penina. Please let the child live.'

'Avram', she said. 'Yes,' I replied. 'I'll call you back in five minutes, I want to get some water.' 'Good, Penina.' Although she didn't directly respond to my words about abortion, it was a good sign that she wanted something to drink. We talked again a few minutes later, me telling her that right now, she needed to get some food and sleep.

Ruti and I offered again to help her here. An apartment is opening up right next to us in just two weeks. She could live there. She's got some back pay coming from her Army service on June 11th and with that she could move in and begin to buy a bed and table for herself. The place is unfurnished. (All men and women do Army service after high school. All except many of the religious. This is political and most of Israel doesn't like that the religious get out of defending the country by studying at their religious schools.)

When we spoke again she said, 'Who will want to employ a woman who's pregnant? How will I get money?' I told her that someone might employ her and then I asked her, 'How have you gotten money to live for the last five months?' And she said that we had given it to her. 'But how long will you be there to help me?'

I told her that there were a number of doors before her. If she took the one that Messiah Yeshua was offering her through us, we would help her as best we could and for as long as we could. 'I can't guarantee that I'll put the child through university but we will look to God. He is Faithful and He will provide.' We ended the conversation and I think she was looking at getting some food and some sleep. I told her we'd talk the next day.

We called Penina on Tuesday night, June 4th, to see how she was doing. It seemed that she was more determined than ever to abort the baby. Ruti spoke with her for about 40 minutes, going back and forth between Penina's anger over Zoli (not conforming to her wishes; e.g. that he would comfort her and tell her that he is with her in this), to not wanting to take us up on our offer to help her here in Eilat, to going to Chicago, etc. She also told us that she spoke to her mother about it. Her mother didn't beat her or scream at her, as Penina feared, but had 'suggested' to her that she abort the baby as it would make Penina's life miserable, to have the baby. And that Penina's mother's life would be 'destroyed' too. But her mother left it with Penina as to what to do. How pathetic that no thought is given to the life of the child. How thick the darkness and deep the sin that my people walk in.

Just before Ruti ended her conversation I asked to speak with Penina. I could hear Ruti struggling to bring Penina a sense of Reality, something Penina didn't want to think about. But the Lord had given me something to say to Penina. I told her,

'Penina, I know you'd like to put all this behind you and that aborting the baby seems to be the way to do it. But I want to tell you that if you think you're in pain, agony and confusion now, after murdering the child, you will find yourself in a place of torment that you have never known. You will not be able to live with the guilt of what you have done to your own baby.'

Penina had been thinking about this. She said that after aborting the baby she would commit suicide, as she wouldn't be able to take it. I said,

'Penina, I have a question for you. Who would want you to murder your baby and you? God or Satan?'

'No one can tell me what to do!', she said.

'You are either listening and obeying God or Satan. There is no in-between in this case. You are very perceptive Penina. I want you to step back if you can and think about my question.'

'The doctor told me that it wasn't a baby and it wouldn't be murder!'

'Penina, it is murder. I'm telling you that. You would be taking a life. Deep in your heart you know that you have a baby in your womb. You have sensed the new life, even if it isn't ready to be born yet.'

She said that she had to go to the bathroom, so we ended the conversation. During the time that Ruti was speaking to Penina, many times I wanted to say, 'We'll take the baby!' but held off, wanting to speak to Ruti about it. I told Ruti and in the morning, after prayer, Ruti came to me and said that she thought we should offer that to Penina. She called her and said that if she would carry the baby to full term, we'd take the child and raise it. We also said that whenever she wanted to be it's mother, would be alright with us. She could see the child daily, weekly, or whenever and she could take her when she felt she wanted to, if she wanted to. She could see the child as often as she wanted or she could leave the child with us and never see it. We wanted to give her as full a range of options as we could. But Penina didn't want that. She didn't like going nine months and then giving the baby away. We pleaded with her but to no avail.

I called Penina on Thursday, June 6th. Ruti and I talked about our phone conversation with Penina the night before and we both thought that it was necessary for Penina to fully know the consequences of her actions, in relation to us, if she chose abortion. We could not continue to be involved in her life. This was not because we hate her, on the contrary, we love her. But we want to present a barrier to her that shows her just how serious this matter is. She knows from us that we consider it murder and now this would be one of the consequences of her action.

She has failed to heed the godly counsel that we have given in a situation that involves the life and death of her unborn child. She is very stubborn and willful and we see her walking in the Devil's camp and not wanting to see the Light. When asked why she wouldn't give us the baby, she said it would be too hard for her to give it up after carrying it for nine months. She would rather abort the child.

I called on Friday but Penina refuses to speak with us. There is not much else we can do. Ruti and I are praying that Yeshua will intervene and cause her to go full term with the baby.

In the midst of this disaster, Zoli has accepted Yeshua as his Messiah. It's bitter-sweet for Ruti and me. On Friday night, after dinner, Zoli told us that he loves Yeshua and has accepted Him. We counseled him to make it very personal by asking Yeshua to forgive him of all the sins that he could think about, when he went to bed later that night. We also shared the need to read the Scriptures and pray on a daily basis, seeking to find out Who Yeshua really is. We see this as just the beginning in his life. And Austi too is coming along, desiring to hear the Word when we are together.

Zoli needs much prayer. Even though he's 27, he's still very much a boy at heart, trying to make sense of the world and his life. Shortly after Penina left, their time at their apartment expired and he needed to leave. Austi had already moved out into another place. We wanted to help Zoli get into an apartment next door to us but the money that we prayed to Yeshua for never came, so that option couldn't be taken. Instead, Zoli accepted an offer from a woman who wanted him, and at first, they weren't sleeping together. But it was only a short time later that they were.

I counseled Zoli like a father, telling him that as one who loved Jesus, he didn't want to do that as it was against God's Will. I told him he needed to sever his relationship with her and find another place and that we'd pray together for Yeshua to open something to him; both a place to stay and work.

More has come to the surface. In a conversation with Divera (his new girl friend), she related how 'God' uses her to heal people and that she knows that in her former lives, she was once a Pharaoh and, you won't believe this, an American Indian princess. This is a Jewess from South Africa that's never been to the United States. Why is it that everyone who believes in 'former lives' always is someone of importance like a king or princess. Why don't I ever hear that they were just ordinary people, like a janitor or a housewife? Satan knows how to deceive and satisfy man's ego.

We shared with her that it wasn't the God of Israel that was doing this for her and gave her a paper on Yeshua the Messiah. (We spoke of her need for Yeshua before, when we first met her.) We told her that we had to separate from her as the way in which she was walking was not something that we could walk with. She thought that we didn't know what we were talking about. We told her we understood and said that if she ever wanted to give her life to the Messiah of Israel, we would be there for her.

Then we spoke to Zoli about it. Of course, he didn't understand, babe in Messiah that he is. He still needs to totally give himself to Yeshua, not just 'to believe' and to accept Who Yeshua is, but to fully surrender his life to Yeshua.

Zoli is struggling with all this, as both Ruti and I are. We don't know just how far we can walk with Zoli in this if he doesn't sever himself from Divera. We shared that with him this past Shabat (Aug. 17th), when he and Austi came over to eat with us. Austi left before Zoli did and that's when we brought the subject up. I said to him, 'If Eema (Mama), and I thought we couldn't have a relationship with Divera because of her spiritual dealings, how much more dangerous would it be for you?'

He thinks we don't know Divera as he does. He tells us she's really a good person. We tell him that we love her and we are believing and praying that she will give her life to Yeshua but until then, we cannot socialize with her. To our Lord we lift up these people. Thanks for your prayers for them and for us. (Austi returned to Hungary in December and Zoli married Divera. They had a baby boy on Jan. 6th, 2004. The Lord brought us back into Zoli and Divera's life for a while in 2004, to see if we could lead Zoli into a deeper commitment to Yeshua, and Divera to her Messiah. We pray that one day he will give his heart and affections to Yeshua, and that Divera will too. What stands in the way of both is pride and stubbornness.)